Hey, I know you. You’re the student who doesn’t recognize that the feedback given to you by a wise and experienced teacher is a precious gift. You say things like “yeah, but-” and “I was trying to…” instead of LISTENING to the feedback and using it to grow.
Listen, I get it, Tasha. Notes suck. They’re an inconvenient reminder that no, you are not perfect. Your mama lied. You can deny this fact and stunt your growth, or you can accept it and use it to improve. Okay? Now, take out your pen and paper and start taking notes on how to take notes.
The Basic Rules:
LISTEN.
Don’t talk. Don’t. Say. One. Word. Listen.
SAY THANK YOU.
You heard me. You may feel like you’ve been insulted or picked on, but what actually happened is that someone took time out of their life to help you become a better person. What a friggin’ awesome gift. You better say thank you.
SHARE NOTES ABOUT YOURSELF, NOT ABOUT OTHERS.
If you’re in a class setting, don’t give notes to other students. Be quiet, Tasha. No one wants to be criticized by his or her peers. However, if you have any self-notes that you realize you need to work on, or if you had a sudden epiphany about something, you should share these little discoveries with the group. What helps you may very well help them too.
IF YOU DO SAY SOMETHING, PAY ATTENTION TO HOW YOU SAY IT.
Opinions don’t matter, only constructive criticisms do. If you’re going to give someone feedback, think of what you can do to make sure it’s helpful:
1. Provide solutions, not problems.
Brainstorming examples about how to handle a difficult situation, rather than focusing on what someone did wrong, is so much more powerful and easier to put into action.
2. Don’t make it personal.
If a scene doesn’t work, talk about the scene, not the person. Say,“I feel like there was a missed opportunity” instead of “you blocked me.”
QUIT BLAMING PEOPLE.
Okay, so you had a bad scene. But really, your ideas were blocked and your partner was nervous and it’s not actually your fault, right? Get over yourself. Stop looking at what everyone else did wrong and start thinking about what YOU could have done to make the scene better. That’s all you have control over anyways.
QUIT BLAMING YOURSELF.
Hey, you tried. You got up there and you did something, and that’s a damn hard thing to do. Instead of beating yourself up for all the things you did “wrong”, remember that you’re a brave-ass Mummer Flubber and give yourself a pat on the back. Treat yourself to some ice cream. Take a look in the mirror and wink at that sexy beast staring back at you. Show yourself some well-deserved respect.
Now, take those notes and use them to become even more awesome than you already are, you crazy, magnificent example of human excellence, you.
BONUS:
My brainstorming notes
By: Tasha Lovsin
